It's Bisexuality Awareness week!

I did it! A full year of thoughtful queer content!

It's been fully one year since I started this blog about bisexuality, queer themes, polyamory, and wellness intersectionality. My how the time flies! I want to thank all of my readers for staying with me, and supporting me throughout my process! Thank you for your feedback, and don't be afraid to leave comments on my posts! I enjoy thoughtful (and respectful) discourse about topics I present.

It's that time of year again!

It's Bisexual Awareness Week in case you didn't know...and 2017 has been a year where more and more folks are coming out as bi/queer as there is a bit more understanding in society about life beyond the binary. And yet....there's still the problem of representation for bisexual/queer folks in media, in children's stories, in politics, and the ongoing issues of negative social and health outcomes for bisexuals that need to be addressed.

Let me back this up a bit. Yes, there are now more sexually diverse and gender-variant characters on TV, and yes, more celebrities have come out about being bisexual/queer/poly this year, thus increasing bisexual visibility in media. However, I'm still noticing how many people online and in the real world don't really understand or respect bisexuality/queerness. Especially when it comes to services, medical needs, and specific queer parenting challenges. It's like society is sometimes willing to grudgingly admit that bisexuals exist but then don't put any supports in place to sustain that awareness. This article shows the range of experiences that bi people face when coming out (huzzah for Teen Vogue!)

Attitudes like the ones in this graphic below continue to persist in the real world and online:

The whole "picking a side" thing really is a complex issue. On the one hand, if you "pick a side" you may be ostracized by the LGBTQ2 community as settling, especially if you "choose" a heteronormative monogamous relationship. Or you de facto become gay to straight people (hello, invisibility). On the other hand, if you don't "pick a side," you're often seen as a "messy" bisexual, greedy, promiscuous (not a negative in my view) or a fence-sitter. Ugh. No way to win!

"This banner's on the fence. Bisexuals aren't." From this Tumblr account.

Here's an excellent video that sums up how (some) people respond when you tell them you are bi/queer:

"Aha! So it IS a choice!" - groan...

It's a tough thing to come out to people as someone who loves and fucks outside the gender binary. Especially when you are unsure of how they will react to the news. In an effort to be more visible, I've started coming out to more and more coworkers, but I'm mindful of which people I share my life info with because I don't want to feel potential negative social or career implications, even though my rights are enshrined in the Canadian Charter of Rights & Freedoms of 1982. This fear is something that straight people will never understand, and it keeps me mindful of my safety. Even though this blog is public, I am careful of which audience I share it to on Facebook and I've removed the ability to track me down via this blog (again, to ensure my safety). I've also started sharing my poly reality with coworkers as well in an effort to normalize it, promote awareness, and get support when things are overwhelming. So far, it's been pretty positive. Folks tend to be confused about non-monogamy, especially when I tell them that I'm married to a man, and often the poly thing is harder for people to wrap their heads around than being bi. However, my sexuality and polyamory are totally intertwined (but I recognize that this isn't the case for all bi people).

Do I have to pick one path? Poly allows me to pick more than one, thus, I'm not choosing a side, but choosing something like "d) All of the Above" if this was a multiple choice question.

Bisexual/queer folks experience double discrimination as well as invisibility - from the straight community AND from the gay/lesbian community. Let me use the following two "exhibits" to demonstrate what I mean by double discrimination.

Exhibit A: A bisexual woman's experience of discrimination based on perception and partner's gender:

Seriously?!

Exhibit B: Discrimination from the gay community:

Here's a prime example of discrimination against a bi person from a gay person.

And while there are many resources available to Gays and Lesbians for emotional, mental, and physical health, there is almost no such similar infrastructure in place for bi/queer folk. In fact, you never even hear about the existence of a "bisexual community," it's always "the Gay and Lesbian X, Y, Z...." The only place that I have really felt a sense of community is online, and with the one I intentionally built around me - my chosen family. I'm lucky that my doctor even bothers to ask me if I have sex with men and women as most doctors will assume you are straight unless you tell them. 

I feel that Vancouver is making some good strides to create events that foster awareness and make space for folks across the gender and sexuality spectrum to come together and witness and celebrate each other (especially during Pride season). I can go to queer events and feel like I can be me and (mostly) be seen. However, I think that Canada could do better overall with regards to bisexual awareness, based on the fact that the events listed on www.bivisibilityday.com are kind of lacking and only for Toronto-area residents:

Come on rest of Canada! Let's get this bi-coastal bi party started!

You may be wondering what you can do to help with biphobia, bi-erasure, discrimination, and shit attitudes towards queers? Well, here's some ideas:

Read books and blogs written by bisexuals to gain further awareness and understanding. Go onto YouTube and watch some videos by a bisexual vloggers (like Eliel Cruz below). Ask questions if you don't understand what to do better as an ally. Add a bisexual visibility day banner to your Facebook profile picture. March with your friends at Pride. Work with other LG groups to promote intra-queer understanding and inclusivity. Donate to bisexual organizations that work to help eradicate those sad statistics about bisexual health outcomes, like the Bisexual Resource Centre. 

Thanks for helping making my world more inclusive! I hope that through my writings that readers will gain more understanding, compassion, and that the information herein promotes behaviours that create more LGBTQ2 cohesiveness. Peace.