I think awareness is the key. Bisexuals have been referred to as the hidden majority in the sexual spectrum. We are the majority, and yet, where are we?
From reading the Invisible Majority: The Disparities Facing Bisexual People and How to Remedy Them study (Sept 2016), bisexual people are very diverse, and this diversity means that bisexual data gets lost in LGBT studies because of the nature of the questionnaires/surveys. That is, bisexuals often get lumped into other LGBT data groups because until very recently, no one has done an exclusive survey on the bisexual population and any relevant points are entangled with other populations (gays and lesbians). That makes it very difficult for health and policy makers to develop targeted programs to meet specific needs of bisexual people.
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| You can see how trying to separate out data for bisexuals could be kind of difficult... |
The other reason why bisexuals remain invisible is due to violence. Bisexuals don't often come out due to fear of reprisal or attacks against their person or livelihood. After reading the above, and other reports, its clear that there is a societal bias towards bisexuals from everyone else (heterosexuals, gays, and lesbians). Why is this? Why would the other 48% of the rainbow flag folks and the straight community (approx 90% of the general population) have this bias?
I believe that it is because the human brain loves to categorize things into neat little boxes. (My Bachelor of Arts is in Psychology, so I know a fair bit about how cognition works.) Especially in our 21st Century world, our over-worked, under-fed/rested brains are barraged daily with information, requests, to-do lists, and planning etc. In all this chaos, the brain creates order by prioritizing and categorizing all this input. Naturally, bisexuals don't fall into the "either/or" categories that our brains like to classify things into. Perhaps it's challenging to one's norms and way of thinking to try and imagine a person for whom the entire spectrum of human sexual expression is a potential area for exploration and desire. But it is possible. I know, because its my reality. I feel the same way as Amy Leibowitz Mitchell when she said:
"And yet, there’s something unique about existing in those spaces between. Sometimes, I think being bisexual is like those optical illusions where you see an old woman or a young woman, faces or vases, a duck or a bunny. People perceive in me what they want to see..."
Because our brains like clear-cut ideas and because sometimes, ideas/beliefs/ways of being don't fall into these nice, neat boxes - we react. How we react is based on our experience, cultural and social norms, personal temperament, and any inherited traits from our parents. Thus, if we have been taught that a certain idea or lifestyle is wrong, immoral, or wishy-washy, our reactions are usually negative and involve making judgements on limited information. Where violence comes into play is when those judgments make someone act out against another and feel that the violence is justified. Since bisexuality hasn't really been at the forefront of the LGBTQ2 movement (something I'm going to touch on in a later post), mainstream exposure to bisexual themes, literature, media, etc has been limited for the majority of the population at large. This lack of exposure breeds a lack of awareness about bisexual people and their needs, which then can lead to negative consequences for bisexual folks.
Bisexuals experience negative reactions from people when they are open about who they are and how they live their lives. Unfortunately, these negative reactions occur in all areas of one's life - at home with parents, siblings, or a spouse; at work with colleagues or boss; on the street/transit; on the internet; and other people in your circle who hold viewpoints that don't include a bisexual reality.
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| A real tweet found when I did a "Bi shaming" GIS - this makes me sad. How can a person simply existing as who they are be "gross?" And yet, this type of attitude towards bisexuals is common and prevalent. |
In my own experience, I have received negative reactions mostly from family, the odd coworker, and many "random" people. The majority of my friends know that I'm out, and support me in my life choices. I get asked questions from my friends about some of my bisexual tendencies, but it's usually coming from a place of wanting to understand me better.
What do I mean by "negative reactions?" I mean that I have been objectified by people (often men) that I have just met; that I've been brushed aside by many lesbians who refused to date/sleep with me just because I happen to like all varieties of human; by folks projecting sex-negative labels and slut-shaming words onto me; by family members who think I'm going to hell; by family members who don't understand how I could be getting married considering my "lifestyle" and desires outside of monogamy; by random people on the street catcalling me when I'm holding hands with my female partner, and then confused looks if they see me holding hands with my male partner a day or two later - just to give you a few ideas.
This bias against bisexuals has had another impact, and I would argue that it has the potential to be even more harmful - internalized biphobia. Internalized biphobia is like waging a no-win battle in your head until you feel as though your brain is going to permanently check-out of your skull. Self-acceptance is a key part of coming to terms with one's sexuality, especially if it falls outside of the heteronormative dialogue of today's western culture.
It is my sincere hope that by sharing my (and media) stories, that I can raise more awareness about issues that impact bisexuals, and to give hope to folks who are struggling with their identity and how they move through such a biased world.
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